AtomFilms - Your Lightsaber and You
One of those "safety" films from the 50's, done for lightsabers.
And The Surrealist Compliment Generator, including such wonderful compliments as:
The microfine network of eyes traversing your shoulders causes me to shudder in anticipation of the coming of the wondrous season of jaundiced eskimos and impotent Anglican priests.
and
You look like someone who has lunched poorly and who has no expectations for dinner.