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12 reasons why gay people should not be allowed to get married

I saw this floating around Livejournal, with no source attribution. If anyone knows, tell me and I'll add it in here. EDIT: I was contacted in IM via a very nice person with the handle of Amystyle, to tell me that this is from Gator Gay Straight Alliance. So update your links!

  1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.
  2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can't legally get married because the world needs more children.
  3. Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
  4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if Gay marriage is allowed, since Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.
  5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are property, blacks can't marry whites, and divorce is illegal.
  6. Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.
  7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
  8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
  9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
  10. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children.
  11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven't adapted to things like cars or longer life spans.
  12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a "separate but equal" institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages for gays and lesbians will.

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Comments (4)

Suneil:

Hmm, the sarcasm is what makes that list fail miserably. Most of the points that the person attempted to convey make it seem just plain stupid. I am generally pro-Gay marriage (or maybe I just don't care), but this is a bad way to try and make fun of anti-gay marriage people, as its just hurting the other side of the argument.

vlad:

I disagree emphatically, Suneil; the sarcasm is EXACTLY what makes it work. It exposes how ridiculous certain assumptions are by identifying their inherent logical inconsistencies. Humor, even vicious humor, is the ultimate rhetorical tool, since if someone laughs they've automatically acknowledged the truth upon which the joke is based. This is why I wish more activists of all progressive causes were a bit less earnestly strident and a little more flip; it would also convey a whole lot more confidence in their positions.

Lissette:

I don't think there is nothing wrong with gay people getting married. Yes the bible says a man and a woman, but it also said that no one is not to judge so for those who are judging you are a sinner too. Besides if they gave black people the equal rights why can't they give gay people rights? THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE THERE!

julie:

yo 1st of all when u said Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children, that is not true cause there are alot of straight parents out there that that rais gay children in America.

Why the fuck do ya'll have to be so judgemental on homosexuality. I, for one, am not gay but is heterosexual and associate with many gay people. God made Adam and Eve who are male and female, to be together and therefore, they had sex. Then God decided to create male and male, and female and female to be together. GOD! he is the one so thus, he have to show mercy. You must be christian or catholic to be so arrogant. Your reasons are terrible and need to think it over. Keep all this shit to yourself. Goodbye.

I had to write a paper for school about why gay marriages should be acceptable. In your "list of reasons why gay's should not be married" you are not only critizing gay's, but you are also being racist and discriminating. i don't know why any one would be so mean and hurtful.

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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on February 16, 2004 3:31 PM.

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